We have a saying in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, “There is no losing. You either win or you learn.” This is one of the many lessons that can be applied to everyday life. My clients training in kickboxing get frustrated when they make a mistake during a combination. For example, instead of throwing a left, they will throw a right. Rather than just getting back into the fighting stance, the client will throw out an explicit [or two] and then apologize. The constructive thing to do would be to get back into the stance, take a breath and try again. The same can be said for conflict resolution on a daily basis. Any issue you run into in life, you practice this: get back into stance, take a breath and try again.

Another example I run into is when a client cannot get that final repetition because of fatigue, he inevitably apologizes profusely and hangs his head in shame. Even when I explain how the goal for the session was to get to muscle failure, his ego is bruised. I continuously let the client know the expectation is not to be perfect; this only leads to frustration and negative emotion. Mistakes and failures are what make us who we are and we become stronger through adversity. My life has been a series of mistakes that have led me to where I am today. There were times when I was crashing on couches and sleeping in gyms and I thought I made the worst decision possible. Going through those tough times forged me into the person I am today. I failed, got back into fighting stance, took a breath and tried again.

“You miss 100% of the shots you do not take.” Wayne Gretzky

“I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that did not work.” Thomas Edison

“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan

“Do not fear mistakes. There are none.” Miles Davis

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” James Joyce